Considering everything in the news right now about the Supreme Court saying Donald Trump’s Gestapo can disappear people with dark skin and tattoos — because we are at “war”! — as long as Trump pinky swears they will get due process, at some point, it’s worth constantly revisiting how apparently arbitrary (read: fucking bullshit, undeserving of respect) ICE’s criteria apparently are for human trafficking people into slavery.
With Kilmar Abrego Garcia, the law-abiding Salvadoran man who was supposed to be protected from deportation, who fled to the United States for safety from gangs, well, there was this one guy who said he was MS-13, and the police didn’t believe that guy, but apparently if you’re a racist ICE thug you always believe that guy, even if nobody believes that guy. After all, these people aren’t even white, obviously! That’s what ICE Nazi Barbie Kristi Noem is probably thinking, while the cameraman, makeup artist, and MAGA Botox dealer set up her next Glamour Shot in front of emaciated prisoners.
Abrego Garcia has tattoos too, we should mention, and when you’re an ICE thug Nazi, all tattoos signify gang membership. (He was deported largely because of his apparel in support of the Chicago Bulls criminal gang of basket-shooting gang criminals.)
The crown, soccer ball, and palm tree on this one legal refugee? Probably because those are his favorite gang weapons. The other guy with the crown atop the soccer ball, just like the Real Madrid logo? ICE gonna have to ’vestigate this new gang “Real Madrid” if so! Maybe it is some sort of offshoot from Tren de Aragua. (That guy was tortured by the Maduro regime in Venezuela. That’s what he was fleeing.)
The kidnapping victim who has a tattoo with a clock that shows the time his daughter was born? Yeah, what ELSE happened at that time?
The one with the tattoos in tribute to his grandmother? Oh yeah? What gang did SHE lead?
Some of these people have tattoos of their children’s names, and their moms’ and romantic partners’ names, and Bible verses! Or “Dios,” which means “God” in Spanish! GANG CODE, OBVIOUSLY. AND NOWHERE IN THE BIBLE DOES IT SAY GOD SHOULD HAVE TO PRESS “1” FOR ENGLISH!
Look at the Instagram of gay makeup artist Andry Hernandez, who is being tortured on the orders of Trump and Noem the dog murderer, look at his tattoos and tell us about his “gang.”
All of this brings us to Donald Trump’s ICE Nazi immigration czar/frustrated PE teacher/vile pig person Tom Homan, who has a new interview in Axios where he talks about his delicate methods for figuring out if somebody is “gang.”
Homan said ICE agents are the “principal” deciders if somebody is in a gang, and that if they think so, then no due process for them! (Again, the Supreme Court would like a word, but probably not too harsh a word. Remember that pinky swear!)
“People who are enemies of the United States don’t have the same level [of] due process [as in] the normal process,” Homan said.
And who decides who is an enemy? Whoever is driving the truck to Dachau that day is who!
“People keep saying they have no criminal history,” he added. “I’ve been doing law enforcement since 1984. Many gang members don’t have criminal history. It’s more than criminal history.”
It’s just this vibe he gets when he sees people who aren’t white, isn’t it?
Homan said ICE conducts “deep dive” investigations into detainees being considered for removal, looking at their social media posts, criminal records, immigration records and information from confidential informants and surveillance.
Did that deep dive happen to notice how many Spanish soccer teams have crowns and soccer balls in their logos?
Oh! Oh! Oh! We know what this is! This is the kind of “doing your own research” that happens when MAGA mommies stay up late watching YouTube and come out the other end certain that COVID vaccines kill people but horse paste is a miracle cure for everything and also Hillary Clinton is RIGHT NOW digging child-trafficking tunnels under pizza places!
Tom Homan discussed the serious methodology these serious people engage in:
He said those factors include, but aren’t limited to, tattoos or religious emblems: “It can be one factor or up to 20 factors … It’s a case-by-case analysis.”
And they’re great at it. It’s a whole system! If they score more than eight points, then they are gang! No really. It says that if they have a Tren de Aragua tattoo — or, you know, maybe a tramp stamp or a Tweety Bird in their right cum gutter or something, all tattoos are “gang” if you are racist enough — then that’s four points. Then they’re already halfway there!
How many points is “speaks Spanish,” we wonder.
“I’ve talked to the highest level at ICE and they’ve reassured me several times: Everyone that was removed under the Alien Enemies Act was a gang member and a terrorist,” Homan said.
Well that guy is a fucking moron and racist pigfuck. We know, because we’ve put him through our eight-point Wonkette test for “are you a fucking moron and a racist pigfuck.” We made it up just now! Which is approximately the effort ICE appears to have put in, so let’s call us even.
It must be stated again: SO FAR, it appears that at least 75 percent of the people Donald Trump abducted and human trafficked to El Salvador have zero criminal record, here or anywhere else. At this point, the working assumption should be that they’re all innocent, until or unless somebody in the Trump Nazi regime can prove anything to us, aside from the fact that they hate non-white people as much or more than Hitler hated Jews.
And we fucking knew that already.
So on that note we’ll have your OPEN THREAD.
[Axios]
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